so i finally did it! I asked her out.... only problem is that she never really responded.... she was out drinking and was having an emotional night... ill check on her later today to make sure she is okay. maybe then ill get an answer....
so this was completely weird but J started txting me out of the blue asking me what I was doing tonight... i told her nothing because that was the truth.... then i told her that I was worried when she starts to ask me to hang out late at night because she has a ton of friends and normally she goes out with them... well then it was followed by the whole things are awkward between us because of the whole me liking her and she not knowing if she liked me thing... of course I still do because stupid shit she does bothers me but it is getting alot easier for me with C being in the picture and ppl showing interest on POF.... I personally think that she does still like me but whatever.
but on another note I went to gay bar with a bunch of J's friends and her. yup it was fun as hell actually... i got drunk like always.... free drinks until 11 then took a shot of patron.... well me and her danced a few times together which was actually quite hot! I was super turned on by her... and dancing with gay guys is my new favorite hobby lol! i think she might have been jealous a few times when i was dancing with keith bc that shit was exactly how i use to dance with straight guys.... def drove home drunk which was no bueno... well before we left the club as we were walking down the street I txted her... i told her that that i wanted her and stuff.... yea ummm drunk txt fer sure but not really bc i was being 100% serious...i feel like at this point with her I could just do the FWB thing and be okay...well i told her that i just wanted to have fun with her and i called... she didnt answer but she did respond to txt messages.... she laughed and told me that i knew how to dance... for pete's sake i know i can bc im black lol.... no seriously its because thats just how i learned how to dance in college... she liked it and i told her i wanted to come over but she didnt respond so i took my happy ass to bed... im pretty sure once she wakes up she will have something to say about it.....
which i just thought of something..... i think when i really did want to be with J it was because I wanted to be back in a relationship way too fast and kinda rushed things now that i think about it.... i think what im doing right now is what i should have done awhile ago and just saw where things went with me and her rather than telling her that i wanted more from what was going on.... i mean i guess i could have defined more as anything but i think when i said more i think she took it as us taking it to the next level... and that was not what i wanted... well i did but i didnt.... i dont know if that makes sense... oh well as the day goes on i know there will be some kinda of developing news or some shit.... whatever im taking my ass back to sleep!
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