So I can't sleep. I don't know why I can't. Anyhow I'm up. I'm up thinking about things. My life is pretty simple now. I work, chill with my gf and hang out at home. Nothing that seems to interfere with how I want my life to be.
But there are part where I wonder why and what if. Like where would I be if I haven't met L or how would my relationship with M be affected if L never showed up.
I can't deny that I still haven't completely gotten over my feelings about M but I only feel this way when I'm not with L. M was something special in my life and I'm sad at the way I lost her out of my life because I told her I was dating L. I love L don't get me wrong but I don't know why I feel like I still need to talk to M. It's so awkward. Maybe it's the way that she way she left out of my life. I look at old pictures of us and I see that both of us were happy. Maybe we were happy for different reasons. I know that when our friendship was building after she figured we should be just friends things and things seemed so much better. But now that will never happen with us being friends. She looks very happy with her current gf and I'm happy for her. But in not happy that I lost a friend. I wanna txt her or something but I also don't want to end up as another tumblr post.
I don't know. My thoughts are erratic right now but I love my lady. She is an amazing part of my life. I love her and I can see myself with her for along time. Yup that's all.
